Blergisphere

I would be proud, to partake, in your pecan piiiieeeeee. Remember when Billy Crystal was great? Also, Happy Thanksgiving!

This is one tree, I would love to climb and I don’t even like donuts. But the thought of climbing a hypothetical donut tree excites me.

fountainpen:

George Washington was a ghostbuster.

I heard on the news this morning that preschoolers watch on average about 2 hours of TV a day whilst at day care.

I am no longer allowing myself to listen to Patsy Cline. for the following reasons.

1. Voice of an angel. Full of scorn. Man oh man has she been wronged a time or two in her day? She makes me feel like all men are cheating, drunk, buttfaces.

2. I have reason to believe she could poison a horse. I just feel like she has poisoned a horse at least once.

I wish I could swim around until my fingers got all prune-y.

You are a robot. Don’t think I don’t see through your John Cusak disguise. You know what robot? You are probably going to try and give me your robot heart and I will give you a pen in return. Yeah, a pen. Just like that girl in that movie you are mimicking.

madmenfootnotes:

1944 sex pamphlet (includes puppies).

(via ifuckinglovetea)

This is one of the many reasons I want to learn how to cross stitch.