- me: ;/
- me: thats me winking and frowning
- tori: you look great
- me: new to the emoticon game
- tori: 8=====D
- me: D>>>>>>>>>>>>> that's a sward
My friend went on a blind date last night. I sent her some “deal-sealers” to try out. These are fool proof if executed properly:
- Pretend to be choking then French kiss him.
- Bring a cup for him to pee in. Say you need it for your niece.
- Try to casually work “arugula” into the conversation as much as possible.
I haven’t heard from her today, I can only assume it’s because she died from multiple orgasms.
Rommel: I dont think we’ve been eating that much pizza.
Brock: It will be four nights in a row this evening."
— Swimming in a river of
Some things that have already happened this week:
- Drank a glass of milk. Which doesn’t sound that weird, but it was very weird.
- Found a Social Security Card and a rock while cleaning out my jewelry box.
- Listened to the Flashdance Soundtrack while painting an owl by number.